


This x Moment x Now

by Dionte



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Canon-Typical Violence, First Meetings, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Pre-Canon, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2019-11-09 08:25:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 18,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17998355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dionte/pseuds/Dionte
Summary: Illumi was never a normal child. He was twelve when he met Hisoka, and was convinced he became even less normal after that. Their relationship was nothing but chaos.





	1. Our x Eyes x Met

**Author's Note:**

> Anyone else amazed by the sheer amount of speculation you can put into Hisoka and Illumi's first meeting? Because I've still got more in me. But anyway. This is my "but what if they met and became friends earlier" theory.

The blood was everywhere. Illumi looked around the room with no expression. He’d wielded his pins like knives and made a mess. He lifted his foot in his kimono, gingerly stepping around a puddle of blood. He knew he was still immature, but Mother and Father would be disappointed if they knew about this. Him using a mission to create a mess as an outlet for his building frustration.

 

Or perhaps they wouldn’t care anymore. He could still see the joy on his parents’ faces as his new brother was born. As Father had declared Killua would be powerful. As the ground fell from under him as they declared Killua the heir apparent.

 

Everything had been meaningless. He felt like trash. He’d been the first child, but he’d never been meant to lead the family. He’d only ever been a doll, a puppet, a test before the true heir was born. And now he had been.

 

Illumi would love him and teach him, just as he’d loved and protected Milluki. He just had to overcome this feeling of emptiness first. The sparks of anger. Disgraceful. Weak.

 

On the other hand, it was incredibly inspiring for his nen training. He’d manipulated his own body before, changed his appearance, but now he had a clear idea for his hatsu. If he was his family’s puppet, he didn’t see the problem in making others his puppet as well. Until they died, until they broke, they would dance for him.

 

He ignored the image of himself ending up the same way for his family.

 

A shadow appeared in the doorway.

 

He threw needles immediately, surprised when the figure caught them. He looked up. It was a boy, with golden eyes and dyed hair. He was taller, older.

 

“I’m impressed, princess. You’ve made quite the bloodbath. ♡”

 

Illumi glared. He had been required to dress as a girl for this mission. To find the leader of a prostitution ring centered around little girls.

 

“And here I thought you were in trouble. ♠” The boy looked around the room, then turned his attention back on Illumi, licking his lips. “Obviously I was wrong. ♣”

 

As the boy examined the scene, Illumi examined him. There was no judgement, just curiosity and fascination. Illumi could read the lie in his face and actions.

 

He spoke before he thought to do otherwise. “Liar.”

 

The boy looked at him, surprised.

 

“You’re no white knight. You were just looking for entertainment. An old man dragging away a young girl was just something to break the monotony.”

 

The boy was staring with wide eyes.

 

“Though you made a mistake.”

 

Illumi moved to gather his needles, carefully avoiding the blood. His mother would be upset if Illumi ruined the cloth of this kimono.

 

“Which is? ♡”

 

“Not a girl.”

 

Suddenly the aura around the boy changed. Illumi put up his nen, and though he reacted in less than a second, his defenses had already been passed. He was pushed against the wall, a hand attempting to slip under his kimono. Illumi stabbed the offending appendage with four needles, and used his other hand to point more needles at the boy’s throat.

 

His gold eyes were glinting and he wore a smirk. “So quick~ ♢”

 

Illumi glared. “I’ll kill you.”

 

The boy leaned forward, causing a trickle of blood slide down his throat. “Is that a promise? ♡” he whispered into Illumi’s ear.

 

Illumi thrust a needle into the boy’s neck and escaped when his body weakened. He kept his glare as he looked behind him, where the boy was bleeding and laughing. Their eyes met for a second, and Illumi could read the arousal in the boy’s eyes.

 

Illumi never fled from one of his scenes, but he came very close to doing so that night.

 

He put the event out of his mind, and resolved to never wear a kimono for work again. It restricted his movements too much.

 

He went home and gave Milluki some snacks he’d bought, then held Killua in his arms. Wisps of light hair, like their father. Killua opened his eyes and babbled at him, Illumi cooing back. Blue eyes, like their father. Even the butlers knew. Tsubone had never looked at him and Milluki the way she looked at the heir. They’d never stood a chance.

 

Illumi returned Killua to his cradle, and returned to his own room to train his nen. He took on more cases, trying to work away his emotions. Assassins didn’t need them. Days turned to weeks, and as he gathered information for a standard request, he felt something.

 

It felt like someone was watching him. He looked around, but there was no apparent cause. He debated pushing the assassination back a day, but that would require having to spend the night. And he wasn’t in the mood.

 

When his victim twisted on the floor, pins in his face, he knew exactly who had been watching.

 

“Pity. Your bloodbath last time was so beautiful. ♡”

 

It was the boy with the golden eyes.

 

“It was a mess.” Illumi answered.

 

“You prefer to kill people cleanly? ♠”

 

“Yes. It’s my job.”

 

“Sounds nice~ How about a name? ♢”

 

Illumi frowned.  “Are you trying to befriend me?”

 

“Yes~ ♡”

 

His father’s face flashed in his mind. He remembered blood. Children, his age, whose bodies were broken, and the blood, warm on his face. On his hands when he granted them a swift end. He shook the memory out of his head.

 

“I’ve only ever killed my friends.”

 

The boy’s pupils dilated. “Well, now I simply must know you better. If friends doesn’t work, how about a little… give and take? ♢”

 

Illumi scoffed. “What could you possibly offer that I’d want?”

 

The boy shrugged, completely at ease. “Who knows. It’s an open offer. ♣”

 

Illumi didn’t reply. The boy had nothing he wanted, and nothing would change that.

 

The boy grinned. “I’m Hisoka. ♠”

 

Illumi left.

 

He could hear Hisoka’s laugh as he exited the building.

 

He returned home, letting himself into Milluki’s room and collapsing on his brother’s bed. He ignored Milluki’s curse at the interruption to his game, remaining silent as Milluki began to squirm.

 

“Is today a poison day?”

 

“No.”

 

“Then why’re you here, Lumi?”

 

“... What game are you playing, Millu?”

 

“Super Jumper Brothers Two.”

 

Illumi stared at the ceiling.

 

“Lumi?”

 

“Why do you like games?”

 

The sound from the TV paused as Milluki beat the level, and he continued on to the next one.

 

“They make me happy.”

 

He thought of the boy with golden eyes, laughing as he’d left. Had he somehow made Hisoka happy? Impossible.

 

“Hmm.”

 

“Does anything make you happy, Lumi?”

 

“You do.”

 

Milluki paused his game and glanced at Illumi, before turning back towards the screen. He fiddled with the controller, but didn’t resume the game. “I hurt you.”

 

Illumi’s brows furrowed, and he sat up, looking towards where Milluki had hunched over on himself. “It wasn’t your fault Milluki. It was for training.”

 

“You were bleeding. And the burns. I did all that.”

 

Milluki had argued in the punishment chamber that day. He'd insisted that he couldn't torture his brother, but Mother and Father refused to hear him. And every blow he struck, every burn he inflicted, he'd screwed his eyes shut. He closed himself in his room after that, and Illumi had barely seen him around the house. Now he knew why. But Illumi didn't know how to comfort him.

 

“I don’t blame you.”

 

Milluki climbed on the bed and forced his way into Illumi’s lap. It seemed like he was waiting for something, so Illumi cautiously wrapped his arms around his brother. Milluki unpaused his game and began playing. He was good, or at least it seemed that way to Illumi. He watched, and Milluki seemed to be having fun.

 

He was glad someone was happy.

 

When Illumi returned to work, he began avoiding contracts on the Yorbian continent. The last two times he’d been accosted by Hisoka, it’d been in the United States of Saherta. Of course, he couldn’t avoid the contracts there forever, but he tried. His father eventually noticed, and insisted he take a job there. Illumi only hoped he'd been overzealous.

 

And he had been. Hisoka didn’t show up.

 

Illumi accepted a contract inside of the United States of Saherta.

 

Hisoka still didn’t show.

 

An assassination in the same state as he’d last seen Hisoka.

 

Nothing changed. He hunted his prey, and determined the perfect moment to strike.

 

As he waited, he scowled. “Why are you following me?”

 

Hisoka had appeared, grin on his face and card in hand. Illumi's body was tensed for the moment his target left the building. 

 

“Isn’t it obvious? ♡”

 

“... You like me, for some reason.”

 

“Mmhm~ You’re the most fascinating person I’ve ever met. ♢”

 

“You’re an idiot.” And yet, Illumi felt more at ease with him than he had at home since Killua had been born. He thought of Milluki and his games, then quashed it.

 

Hisoka only laughed. “Have you rethought my offer, Illumi? ♣”

 

Illumi kept his mouth shut. He hadn’t told Hisoka his name.

 

“Not many assassins of your age and skill around. You’re quite impressive. ♢”

 

Illumi felt his attention waver, but refocused. He didn't want to respond. Not at all. He didn't want to appreciate this stranger's words. He was working. More importantly, words meant nothing. Hisoka had nothing he wanted.

 

Right?

 

“Why not give me a chance, Illumi~ ♡”

 

That, Illumi couldn't ignore. He was about to reply when the target emerged. Instead, Illumi ran forward, throwing his needles. He watched as the target collapsed, hands raising to their face as they tried to comprehend what happened. Within a few seconds, their hands fell to the side, and Illumi signaled home that his mission had been completed.

 

Hisoka stood by him, looking at the corpse.

 

“Chances are never given. Chances are must be taken.”

 

Hisoka’s eyebrows rose, and a smirk came onto his face. If Illumi were a weaker person, it would have made him shiver.


	2. The x Burning x Flash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Illumi was a difficult person to befriend. He was distant and stubborn. But when Hisoka wanted something, he would always find a way to get it. Even if that way was dogged persistence.

It was difficult to predict Illumi. After their conversation, Hisoka almost thought the young assassin had warmed up to him. And tracking him- for a short time- became easier. He would take contracts in the same city, or surrounding cities as he’d encountered Hisoka in. Then, if Hisoka made a single misstep, Illumi would vanish for months. He’d have to travel to a different state before he could catch him again.

 

Even so, Hisoka made it his personal mission to befriend the assassin. Sure, Illumi might find him annoying and frustrating, but it was far different for Hisoka. He was getting to know one of the strongest and most fascinating individuals he’d ever gotten to meet. It was something he’d been searching for since he’d left the circus.

 

And his efforts were being rewarded. It had taken a couple of years, but Illumi was regularly taking missions near Hisoka and had stopped arriving in a state of zetsu. It was encouraging. Hisoka would find him before Illumi departed on his contract, which- now that he thought about it- had probably been Illumi's plan. He'd never said as much out loud, but Illumi preferred Hisoka revealing himself before any assassinations. He seemed to have realized Hisoka would always find him eventually, if he was ever in the same town or nearby.

 

Not that it mattered this time. Hisoka heard from some braggart at a bar that they’d hired a Zoldyck to take out a competitor, so he’d been on the lookout anyway.

 

Illumi was sitting at a coffee bar, eating what was probably a quick lunch before his job.

 

“Illumi~ ♡ I was hoping you’d show up today.”

 

Illumi didn’t even glance at him. “Your presence is unwanted.”

 

Though Illumi’s words were harsh, Hisoka knew better. Illumi had let his guard down. Not much, but enough. It showed in his body, his nen. Illumi had stopped tensing with his presence. He retained a smooth aura. Illumi expected Hisoka to show up when he accepted missions here, and Illumi wasn’t going to kill him. Not yet, at least.

 

“Since when has that stopped me? ♢”

 

If Illumi was any less refined than he was, Hisoka would have said he’d snorted. He sat down, pleased with himself while Illumi finished his meal. It was comfortable, relaxed. At least, it was before Illumi's aura suddenly sharpened, and Hisoka saw him put his drink down a bit harsher than he would normally. Hisoka examined their surroundings. He didn’t know what had garnered Illumi’s attention until a hand shot out, needle shattering the lens of a camera that had been trained on them. The owner cursed and ran.

 

When the man was no longer in sight, he turned to Illumi. It had taken time to find those glimmers of emotion behind Illumi’s placid facade, but well worth the effort. Right now, Illumi was upset and annoyed.

 

“What was that about? ♣”

 

Illumi huffed, but answered. “For some reason, it has come to the general public’s attention that there are no pictures of the Zoldycks. So now everyone has been trying to take one and sell them for absurd amounts of money.”

 

Hisoka said nothing as he pulled out his phone and snapped a picture of Illumi resting his chin on his palm.

 

“... Really?” No longer annoyed, but resigned.

 

Hisoka smirked. “I must have billions of dollars worth on my phone already~ ♡”

 

Illumi looked away.

 

“But why did you destroy that man’s camera~? ♣”

 

“He was annoying me.”

 

“Oh~? ♠”

 

Hisoka wanted to prod Illumi a little further, force him to acknowledge that Hisoka was no longer an annoyance in his eyes. Unfortunately, he knew it would backfire and Illumi would start avoiding him again. Really, Illumi could be quite petty when he put his mind to it.

 

“I have a request to complete.”

 

“Mind if I watch? ♡”

 

Illumi frowned. “It’s not like I can stop you.”

 

Which was true. But it also meant Illumi had come to accept that fact. Wonderful. He could feel heat pooling in his stomach as he thought about the coming day, when he could be right beside Illumi while he took out a target.

 

Hisoka took a deep breath. Patience.

 

He could still remember that scene of Illumi in the dark, wearing a kimono and surrounded by blood. His heart had raced as it had never done before, even from his days on the streets or with Moritonio’s Circus.

 

Illumi would be his. He was convinced of this. Illumi’s words- that chances were not given, but taken- well. He’d been taking as many chances as he could.

 

For now though, Illumi was gone. Off on his hit.

 

Hisoka wandered the city to calm himself down, knowing full well that Illumi would first take time to gather information. And while it was fascinating to watch, he would always prefer the moment Illumi took a life. So he waited, calm, for Illumi to go on the prowl. And he would know. He always knew.

 

At dusk, Hisoka began the search. He let his instincts lead him through the town until he saw the familiar dark head marching through the crowd with no presence. And though he’d taken hours to calm himself, Hisoka was bombarded by emotions simply seeing Illumi on his way to a kill. Illumi knew he’d be watching, had approved of it even. Not that Hisoka would be able to resist watching if he’d refused.

 

Hioska kept his distance. Getting too close would only result in Illumi attacking him, and while he wouldn't mind a good fight, he had so much more in mind for their relationship. Not to say that was the only reason Hisoka was staying a safe distance away. He was far too excited to get close without causing trouble.

 

It was dark when Illumi stopped in front of a large mansion. Hisoka watched as security guards threw open the doors, but Illumi had already slipped inside, leaving no trace of his presence. Hisoka activated his own zetsu and slipped around the side of the mansion. He saw a dim light coming from one of the third floor windows and found a tree nearby, climbing it with ease to peek inside. A large, dimly lit room with an old man sitting at a desk, yelling at someone on his phone.

 

Well. He looked like a target.

 

Hisoka made himself comfortable, waiting for Illumi to show. When he did, it took a moment for the man in the room to even notice. Illumi stood at the other end of the room like a ghost. The geezer finally noticed, and froze in place. When Illumi moved forward, he tried to run, knocking the light down. Darkness blanketed the room, and Hisoka’s eyes were adjusting when he saw a shadow moving in the corner.

 

There was a bright light.

 

Hisoka was furious. It took a moment to blink away the flash, but when he did, he was astonished by the scene before him. His card had cracked through the window, the camera, into the face of the man who’d dared to take a picture of Illumi. Illumi was staring at Hisoka’s dead man, pins in hand, his own target unmoving on the ground.

 

And Hisoka realized just how horribly this situation could go. He’d just interfered with Illumi’s mission. He’d killed the man before he’d even thought about it. He’d been livid that someone so unworthy had taken a picture of Illumi at his best.

 

Hisoka escaped before Illumi could turn to the window and see him.

 

Anger. Passion. Hisoka had never been one to hold off on his desires, but this was frustrating. In many ways. First, he'd been so careful about his relationship with Illumi. He'd worked for years to make this progress, and now it was ruined. Second, he'd just killed a man. Well, he didn't care about that part, but he killed a man because he'd been angry. Because of Illumi. Hisoka couldn't remember anything registering as more than a minor annoyance in some time. But this...

 

It shook him to his core. He was well acquainted with his emotions, but Illumi had introduced a whole new slew that he wasn't sure what to do with. He'd never been enraged before, never felt such a desire for ownership of a someone.

 

He loved it.

 

But that didn't rectify the situation. Illumi would vanish after this, and he would have to waste weeks, maybe months, to try and catch the assassin again. With a frown and a huff, Hisoka decided to bury the problem before trying to solve it. Which meant drinks. He flashed a fake ID at the bar owner and ordered a strong whiskey, wondering if he could somehow mitigate this situation. Illumi hated seeming as though he were weak or inadequate. It was a huge part of why Illumi insisted Hisoka stay away, because he could handle it himself. And it wasn't that Hisoka thought Illumi needed help, quite the opposite. He'd just acted before he thinking. Perhaps he could convince Illumi that it was harmless. The mission had already been completed, Hisoka had merely eliminated an annoyance.

  

“Hisoka.” Illumi's voice made him jolt out of his thoughts. He would never have thought Illumi would follow him.

 

“Illumi. ♣”

 

Illumi threw something, and Hisoka caught it. His card. He was surprised the assassin would go through the trouble of getting it back for him.

 

“I could have handled it myself.”

 

“Yes, yes~ I know. ♠”

 

Illumi was staring at him, and Hisoka was shocked when Illumi finally moved to sit beside him. The barkeep gave them a stink-eye, but Hisoka's full attention was on Illumi.

 

“The request was genuine, but my client was too chatty. A paparazzi looking for a little extra lining for his pockets heard. He went to warn the target and possibly get a picture of me.”

 

“I see. ♣” Illumi had never explained anything about his assassinations before. Hisoka watched carefully, looking in that stoic face for any scraps of expression.

 

Illumi frowned. “I was going to kill him. The flash hurt.”

 

Hisoka felt something tugging at his chest. Something light. Illumi didn’t seem upset. In fact, he seemed grateful.

 

They sat there for a while longer, until Illumi tapped on the bar, then stood.

 

“See you later, Hisoka.”

 

Hisoka grinned, and when Illumi was gone, he looked at the business card Illumi had left behind. On the back, he’d scrawled out his phone number with a note reading ‘for give and take.’

 

It had taken a bit of time and a lot of persistence, but he’d finally weaseled his way into Illumi’s good graces.


	3. Kicked x from the x Nest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Illumi loved his family. He really did. But no matter how much he loved them, they couldn't help him. Not with this. Still, Illumi wished more than a clown came to mind when he needed to go clothes shopping.

Killua and Alluka were playing in a sandpit. Butlers stood outside the pit, and his mother held Kalluto, watching over everything regally. Illumi sat beside her, watching closely as well. Killua was a year into his training, and Alluka… Well, father and mother had been acting strangely about their second youngest, but Illumi thought the child was normal enough.

 

Which- now that he thought about it- was unusual, but since Killua was the heir, why not let the child be normal? Milluki had been much the same way since Illumi had taken the responsibilities of the eldest.

 

Even now, his mother’s visor was directed towards Alluka, and he saw the twitches of her facial expression. The small grimace.

 

He returned his gaze to Killua and Alluka.

 

They continued to play.

 

“Mother, how is Kalluto?” He saw her relax out of the corner of his eye.

 

“Oh, Kalluto is going to be such a sweet child, I can already tell. He hasn’t fussed a bit.”

 

“Did I fuss much?”

 

“No, no. You were a very calm child, even more than Kalluto. We were worried that you were mute for the longest time because you never spoke. You only stared.”

 

Illumi stared at his mother and blinked slowly. He’d never heard about that before. He’d never asked. Kalluto was gently turned over to him, and he held the napping baby carefully. His mother moved over to the pit, speaking to the children. Killua began to throw a fit as she spoke to him, and he could see the irritation spilling across her face. Alluka began to cry as his mother guided Killua away.

 

When she’d returned, he saw the tension in her shoulders and the fury in her expression.

 

“Mother.”

 

“What?!”

 

Illumi didn’t flinch, he wasn’t scared- never scared, but he always felt on edge when mother dropped into one of these moods. He racked his brain, trying to think of anything that may soothe her.

 

“Lunch will be soon.”

 

His mother grunted.

 

“Perhaps this afternoon we could go shopping. I need to get some clothes.”

 

His mother snarled. “Well, you can choose your own clothes can’t you?”

 

And Illumi was speechless. He’d never been allowed to.

 

He continued to watch Alluka play. Kalluto woke, staring at him with dark eyes, but they weren’t black, like his own. He was sure it was close to time for his mother to feed him, and he passed the baby back to her. He left with a murmured excuse to check on Milluki. His mother said nothing.

 

He passed by Milluki’s room to head to his own, throwing open his closet to stare. He thought about what his mother had said. She had been frustrated lately. And with three young children, he understood, really. It didn’t stop him from feeling lost. His parents had always controlled his life, and now it was different. They had someone else to focus on- to control. It made him feel unmoored.

 

Illumi looked at his clothes with a frown. He was outgrowing everything, and he’d need a full new wardrobe. A new wardrobe that was his own. He had been set free.

 

He had no idea what to do with that freedom.

 

Illumi eyed his phone suspiciously.

 

He didn’t want to, but there was really only one person he could think of who might be able to assist him.

 

_Could we meet?_

 

He waited, and soon his phone lit up with a notification.

 

_Oooh~_ ❤️ _Of course! I  l o v e helping you._ ⭐≧▽≦💧

 

Illumi scowled, but texted Hisoka again to set up a time and place to meet. He reported his departure to grandfather, knowing mother and father would ask questions he didn't want to answer. Not yet at least. So before lunch was served, Illumi was pushing open the doors of the Zoldyck estate to catch an airship and meet up with Hisoka in Yorknew. Sitting on the ship, he found himself thinking of how strange the circumstances had become. Here he was, leaving his family to meet a bloodthirsty clown to discuss clothing.

 

It was almost humorous.

 

His phone went off, and Illumi pulled it out to see another message from Hisoka.

 

_I might make a mess tonight~_ ❤️ _you look so beautiful surrounded by blood~_ ⭐ღ˘⌣˘💧

 

Hisoka had probably taken his request the wrong way. Thought it was about an assassination.

 

Illumi felt no need to correct him.

 

The plan was to meet up at a restaurant where Illumi could discuss what he needed Hisoka’s help with, but he felt no surprise at seeing Hisoka at the airport. He’d expected it, really. He had known the clown would be too excited at the prospect of working together.

 

“Illumi~ ♡”

 

“Hisoka.”

 

“You never mentioned anything about the target, but I’m so excited~ ♠”

 

“You really shouldn’t be.”

 

Hisoka froze, then leaned forward and examined him. His earlier glee was replaced with curiosity. “... Then why did you contact me? Especially after having made it so clear that this is a business relationship~ ♣”

 

Illumi ignored him for a moment. “I have a reservation. Let’s go.”

 

“Oh~ Well you could have just told me it was a date. ♡”

 

“Leaving. Now.”

 

“It was a joke, Illumi~ ♠”

 

When they were seated at an expensive restaurant overlooking the city with orders placed, Illumi hesitated. He could call it off, head to the mall and choose clothes on his own, couldn't he? He thought about it more, but no. Just thinking about it made him feel lost. So he took a deep breath and finally told Hisoka the real reason for his request. If it were for any other reason, he would have felt proud at the blank astonishment he’d brought to Hisoka’s face. As it was, he only felt incompetent. Sixteen years old and having to ask someone to help him choose his own clothing.

 

“You want me…” Hisoka pointed to himself, “to take you shopping. ♣”

 

“Yes.”

 

“You detest my style. ♢”

 

Illumi frowned. Hisoka was flashy and ridiculous, but, “of all my acquaintances, you are the most connected to your own desires. I thought by consulting you, I could connect to my own.”

 

Hisoka had a smirk. “You want to connect to your desires~? ♡”

 

“Yes.”

 

The silence between them stretched for a moment, before Hisoka began to pout. “You could have a bit more of a reaction. ♢”

 

“I don’t care.”

 

“Fine. But you don’t need me. You’ve worn enough disguises to choose what you’d like. ♠”

 

Illumi blinked at him. “But this is for myself. Those are for work.”

 

An eyebrow arched, and Hisoka sighed. “Did you prefer any disguise over another? ♣”

 

“Why would I even consider that? It was for work.”

 

Hisoka stared, blinked at him, and forced a smile. “I should have known. So what do you like outside of work? ♢”

 

“My family, I guess.”

 

“Right. Your family is your life. ♠”

 

Illumi nodded.

 

Hisoka seemed to consider something, then gestured at him. “Do you like the jacket you’re wearing right now? ♣”

 

Illumi shrugged. “It’s a jacket.”

 

Hisoka pursed his lips. “... Now I see why you needed me. ♢”

 

“Ah, so you get it.”

 

“You have no sense of self. ♠”

 

Illumi felt mildly offended by this. “I know perfectly well who I am.”

 

“You don’t even know what you like. ♣”

 

“I know I don’t like you.”

 

“And yet I’m the only one you associate with outside of your job and family~ ♡” Hisoka said with a smirk.

 

Illumi found himself unable to reply.

 

“So, how about a favorite color? ♣”

 

Illumi felt his brows furrow.

 

“What point is there to a favorite color?”

 

Hisoka rolled his eyes, and began asking more questions along that vein while they finished their meal. Once it was done and paid for, Hisoka led them to a mall, grabbing a huge variety of clothing and insisting Illumi try them on. Illumi began to strip immediately- much to Hisoka’s pleasure- until a security guard approached and insisted he move to a changing room.

 

After Illumi had changed into two outfits, Hisoka grabbed them, and told him to choose.

 

Illumi could only blink. He thought, he took a breath, but he had no idea what Hisoka wanted.

 

When it became obvious Illumi wasn’t answering, Hisoka picked one with a huff. “Fine. We’ll go with this one. ♠”

 

“Okay.”

 

He watched as Hisoka began to move away before sighing and turning back to him. “Illumi, you’re supposed to argue. I can tell that you prefer this one. ♢”

 

“... I do?”

 

“Yes. You've been paying more attention to this one, and when I chose for you, you were watching me intensely. Like you didn’t want me to put this one back. ♣”

 

Illumi considered it for a moment. “Ah.”

 

“Yes, ah. Now, you need to start paying attention to those little things. We’re going to figure out what you like and don’t like by that. ♢”

 

“I see.”

 

“Now start changing. ♡”

 

Illumi did. And every so often, Hisoka would stop and make him choose between some of what he’d just tried, then between that and what he’d chosen earlier. They continued this until late in the evening, until the announcements went out through the store that they were closing. And finally, Illumi walked out of the store with bags full of enough pants and shirts to replace his outgrown supply, and some idea of what he preferred in clothes.

 

“Your parents aren’t going to kill me for keeping you out so late, are they~ ♢”

 

“You aren’t a target.”

 

Hisoka chuckled, arm slinging around Illumi’s shoulders.

 

“If I do become a target, I hope you’ll take the honors. ♡”

 

Illumi looked at Hisoka, curious. For someone so obsessed with living to the fullest, he was awfully blasé about dying.

 

Not that it mattered.

 

“You could always contract me specifically.”

 

Hisoka was staring at him, and Illumi wondered if he’d said something wrong when the clown smirked, eyes dark with something. Illumi assumed it was arousal.

 

“Perhaps someday~ ♣” Hisoka looked away before continuing, “I still have things I want to do for now. ♢”

 

Illumi watched him. Though Hisoka was a mystery, a conundrum, he’d always been clear. A solid presence. Illumi wasn’t. His mind began to spiral. Who was he, without his family? Without being owned by someone? The clothes in his arms felt heavy, and something throbbed in his chest. Like he’d betrayed his family, despite the fact that they’d freed him. He felt like a ghost.

 

Hisoka’s voice interrupted his thoughts. “Illumi? ♡”

 

“Do I exist?”

 

Hisoka’s eyes were wide. He seemed perturbed, and that was something Illumi had never seen in Hisoka’s expression before. Then Illumi felt a sharp pain and saw a card embedded in his shoulder.

 

“I could kill you. Is that proof enough? ♢”

 

Illumi blinked. The hollow feeling that had been spreading through him had stopped. He felt something in his face relax, and Hisoka was suddenly in his face.

 

“Is that a smile? Does the thought of me killing you make you smile? ♡”

 

He took a deep breath. “I rather think I’d be the one killing you.”

 

“Maybe we’ll just kill each other then. ♣”

 

Illumi huffed. “So I’m stuck with you til death do we part?"

 

Hisoka's hand went up to splay over his chest. “Illumi, was that a marriage proposal? ♡”

 

Illumi shook his head, but a small laugh escaped his lips. Perhaps it was selfish, wanting to killing Hisoka or die in the attempt, but that was their friendship. They were killers. And this made Illumi feel less like a ghost. Even if his family had released him, even if this friendship destroyed everything, it didn’t matter. He was real to someone.


	4. Part x of x Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Perhaps absence does make the heart grow fonder, because after Illumi was away for so long- training Killua, apparently- he was willing to indulge many more of Hisoka's whims than usual.

Hisoka had been waiting at the airport when he realized Illumi was there. He’d been expecting Illumi, actually, he just hadn’t expected… That.

 

A pincushion of a man with a mohawk was walking down, clinking and clattering the whole way. Everyone was giving him a wide berth, and Hisoka had to say, he understood why. It made his own hair stand on end.

 

But he recognized the needles.

 

“Hello~! ♣”

 

Illumi looked at him, then jerked his head towards the bathrooms. Interesting. Hisoka figured it had something to do with the disguise. When he wandered over to the men’s room, Hisoka found himself staring as Illumi pulled the needles from his face. It was the first time he’d seen Illumi using his hatsu. He’d always assumed it had something to do with those needles, but this must be one of the talents he’d trained. Disguise. And it was fascinating to watch this unknown figure contorting to become the Illumi Hisoka knew and adored.

 

His hair had grown, strands curving around his face, and Hisoka grinned.

 

“Trying out a new disguise? ♢”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Any particular reason~? ♠”

 

“Helps to stay below the radar.”

 

Hisoka watched Illumi’s face carefully, frowning. Illumi was oddly tense today. And while he didn’t doubt that Illumi created the disguise for that purpose…Well. He should just be happy to work with Illumi again. Recently the assassin had been caught up in working with his little brother.

 

Illumi pulled out a file to show to Hisoka.

 

Now that he thought about it, perhaps that was the source of Illumi’s frustration. He obviously adored his little brother, but Hisoka sometimes read jealousy of his family’s favoritism towards this one. Illumi would never admit it, never go against his family, but… Well, it just made Illumi all the more fascinating.

 

He hoped that someday Illumi wouldn’t be all business with him. He felt his eyes roam up to Illumi’s hair. The black strands were oddly distracting. He wanted to run his hands through it.

 

“Hisoka.”

 

Hisoka returned his attention to the present.

 

“I said I’ll take out the target tomorrow.”

 

Oh. It was one of those. Hisoka frowned. “It can’t be done today? ♠”

 

“I need to figure out how many bodyguards he has. You get all of them.”

 

“But I was hoping for some action today~ ♢”

 

Illumi gave him a look, and Hisoka felt the corner of his lip itch up. He felt like being a little bit… Mischievous. Call it karma, since Illumi had left him alone for so long. He leaned forward, wrapping an arm around Illumi’s unmoving shoulders.

 

“Then perhaps, a different type of action~ ♡”

 

Illumi only gave him a glare. “No. I have to gather information and prepare for the hit.”

 

Pity.

 

“Why did you even call me today? ♣” Hisoka pouted.

 

“So you’d have the information. We’ll meet again tomorrow morning.”

 

“Yes, yes~ ♠”

 

Illumi watched him, eyes emotionless as ever. “8 o’ clock. Kachina Plaza.”

 

“Of course.” Then a thought struck him. “Where are you staying the night? ♣”

 

“The ground.”

 

“... Could you repeat that? ♠”

 

“The ground.”

 

Hisoka found himself staring. Illumi wasn’t one to lie. In some ways, the assassin was strangely truthful and stuck to his own ideals, even if those were warped. Well. Not that he could speak. But that meant Illumi, the elite, beautiful, talented assassin would be staying… In the ground. The images didn’t mesh.

 

“I have a bed. ♢” Hisoka offered.

 

“I don’t care.”

 

And there would be no talking Illumi out of it. Hisoka expected as much, but he was still reeling. Illumi left after that, and Hisoka wandered back to his room. He got a text later, from Illumi.

 

Eleven bodyguards. Shouldn’t be a problem for you.

 

Not a problem, huh. He would have preferred a little challenge. It was a little disappointing, but the action, the money, and this relationship with Illumi was more than worth it. He had always been able to predict those around him, but Illumi… Illumi found ways to surprise him.

 

He chuckled.

 

The ground.

 

Beyond that though, it was a boring night. Hisoka sunk into thought, watching the bright lights of the city sparkle. It reminded him of the circus. Of how much had changed since then. And Illumi was the cause of it all. Hisoka was never one to believe in destiny, but he was sure that no matter the circumstances, he and Illumi were meant to meet.

 

Hisoka groaned.

 

This was what Illumi had made of him. And he wondered if somewhere in Illumi’s mind, some dark corner he refused to recognize, Hisoka occupied a similar position.

 

He pleasured himself to the thought.

 

The next morning, he ran a discreet eye over Illumi when they met in the plaza. Illumi appeared ready to go, and though he expected nothing less, there was no dirt. He wondered if there were some way to see into the assassin’s mind, to expose the secrets he kept hidden so well. Perhaps nen? Not his nen, obviously, but... No. This wasn't a good time to think about it.

 

Illumi led them to the mansion, vanishing when the bodyguards appeared. Hisoka sighed as he pulled out his card and began his own attack, dancing between the wild swings of his attackers. A slash through the throat here, a cut in the thigh there. Illumi was quite right. No problem. A bit disappointing really. He counted the bodies as they fell, finding some satisfaction at the thud of number ten’s fall.

 

He glanced around, but there were only corpses. Where was number eleven?

 

“Who the fuck are you!”

 

Ah. There he was.

 

The man was in the doorway, fury on his features. Hisoka felt his mouth crack open in a smile.

 

What a pleasant surprise. When he looked at the last bodyguard, there was an aura of nen. The man aimed his palm and shot a blast. Emitter.

 

“I’m the god of death, here for you~ ♢.”

 

“Shut up! I’ll kill you!”

 

“Temper, temper. ♠”

 

Another emission sped past him and Hisoka wondered. Even if this one wasn’t what he’d call powerful, he was still a nen user. Illumi had to have known.

 

He threw the card to mangle the man’s hand, the scream of pain like music to his ears. The man turned to run, but Hisoka had already attached his bungee gum to his feet, so he could only watch as Hisoka summoned a new card to slit his throat.

 

No problem, but his heart was trembling. It had been more exciting than he’d expected.

 

Hisoka continued on into the manor, locating Illumi soon as he could. One of Illumi’s hands was holding something to his ear, and Hisoka assumed was speaking to his father on their family line. He always reported in, though he aimed to do so while Hisoka wasn’t present.

 

“I’ll return tonight. Yes, I can attend the mission with Killu.” It sounded normal enough, but there was something off. Illumi hung up, tilting his head to Hisoka. “Are you done?”

 

Hisoka quashed his curiosity for the moment. “Yes, Illumi~ Why didn’t you tell me there was a nen user? ♢”

 

“Was he a problem?”

 

“No. ♠”

 

“Good.” Illumi tilted his head, and Hisoka swore he was smirking. “If he was a problem, I’d have to rethink our agreement.”

 

From Illumi, it was flattering. It meant Illumi had to respect his abilities. He’d known Illumi had on a basic level, but to have left the bodyguards- including a nen user… It indicated a level of respect Hisoka hadn’t anticipated. What a fantastic day this was building up to be.

 

But that call with his father… It seemed that Illumi wouldn’t be staying long. Two missions in a single day, huh? Illumi seemed exhausted, though it was always hard to tell with him. And whatever Hisoka had thought was off about that conversation, well. He was guessing that Illumi was a bit tired of missions with this Killu.

 

“So you have another mission today? Bit quick, isn’t it?~ ♣”

 

“My father got a high priority request.”

 

“I see~ ♠”

 

Illumi was walking a bit slower than usual as they left the scene, and Hisoka began to wonder just how hard Illumi had been working recently.

 

“When’s the latest you can leave to get home on time? ♢”

 

“I want to catch a flight before two.”

 

“Then it’s decided, let’s go out for lunch before you go~ ♡”

 

Illumi froze, stared. He didn’t answer, but when Hisoka kept walking, he eventually followed.

 

“Lunch.”

 

“Yes~ I’ve got a fantastic place in mind. You can eat before you leave. ♢”

 

“That seems oddly charitable of you.”

 

Hisoka personally thought it was selfish, since he was doing it to keep Illumi to himself for even a moment later. But he was fine with Illumi seeing him in a more positive light. That would make it easier to get closer to him.

 

“I live to surprise~ ♡”

 

Hisoka took Illumi to small restaurant he’d been frequenting lately. The prices were decent, and the owners had never batted an eye towards the aesthetic Hisoka cloaked himself with. He’d become quite fond of the place, and they gave him discounts.

 

If they were surprised by his guest, they made no show of it, only waving Hisoka towards a table that had two menus set up. He gestured towards one of the seats while he sat in the other.

 

“Order whatever you want. ♢”

 

Illumi examined the menu without a word. Hisoka had the feeling that it might take him a while, so he pulled out a deck of cards and began to build a structure on the table. As he completed the castle, one of the owners came over with a small notebook.

 

“Ah ya ready?”

 

“Give me a steak, rare. ♠”

 

The owner nodded and directed their attention to Illumi. “'n ya?”

 

Illumi hesitated, “Pineapple chicken?”

 

“Great. 'e’ll have it ou' soon.”

 

When the owner left, Hisoka grinned to Illumi. “You seem to have gotten better at deciding what you want. ♡”

 

Illumi considered this, eventually nodding. “Your advice has been… Enlightening.”

 

Hisoka smirked. Enlightening, huh. Illumi was just feeding his pride today. He liked it.

 

“So, Illumi, how have the missions been going? I’ve been so lonely~ ♠”

 

Illumi gave him a dry look. “... Missions have been fine.”

 

“Seems like they’ve been keeping you busy though. ♣”

 

His face softened a bit. “My father and I have been training Killu. But it has been slowing down how quickly we complete requests, so I’ve been taking out some of our backlog.”

 

“Was that what today was about? ♢”

 

“Yes.”

 

They fell into silence. Based on the smell Hisoka was sure the food in the kitchen was almost complete.

 

“You really missed me?”

 

His attention returned to Illumi, who avoided his eyes like the plague. This was the closest thing that Illumi had to a weakness. Insecurities, sentimentality, the desire to be desired. He wondered how strong Illumi would become if someone filled them.

 

If he filled them.

 

With a grin he responded, “Of course~ ♡”

 

The food was brought out, and his mouth watered. He tore into his own food, sharpened knife cutting smoothly into the meat. It was satisfying.

 

“... It’s good.”

 

“Isn’t it though? ♡”

 

Illumi huffed a laugh. “Doesn’t taste poisoned.”

 

Hisoka never asked about Illumi’s home life. About what it meant to be trained as an assassin. He collected the little moments- the healing burns and cuts, the way Illumi separated himself from the world, and the implications of his sentences.

 

Illumi was satisfied with his life. That was all that mattered, really. Hisoka was satisfied as well.

 

“What does poison taste like? ♣”

 

“Depends. Some is sickly sweet, some is bitter, some is more instinct than a taste you can put a name to.”

 

“Sounds better than trash. ♠”

 

Illumi then looked up from his meal with wide eyes. “Have you been eating trash?”

 

Hisoka laughed at his reaction. “Eating, no. Have eaten, yes. You eat what you have to in order to survive. ♢”

 

Illumi nodded. “That makes sense.”

 

“I used to chew gum until it was stale. Worked better than dumpster diving. Didn’t get nearly as many stomachaches. ♠”

 

“I used to get snacks and sweets to eat with my brother whenever I went on missions alone.”

 

And wasn’t this delightful? “Which brother? ♣”

 

“Milluki. Not much of a fighter, but he’s skilled with information.” There was pride in Illumi’s voice.

 

“Mmm, tell me more? ♡”

 

Illumi blinked, eyes narrowing as he realized just how much he had been talking. Hisoka pouted. It was more information than he normally got from Illumi, but he was becoming an addict. Anything he got made him hungry for more.

 

He managed to resume the conversation with a different topic, something inane as they returned to the airport together. Illumi retreated to the bathroom to disguise himself, and Hisoka observed just how different this disguise was. The pins altered and concealed him well.

 

“Do you use an alias with this disguise? ♣”

 

Illumi thought for a moment. “Call me Gittarakur.”

 

“Will do. ♢”

 

He left after that, but something about Illumi’s disguise stuck with him all day. Hisoka thought and pondered it. What was so familiar about Gittarakur? It came to him as he caught a glance of himself in the mirror.

 

The cropped top, the tighter undershirt. The pants being loose around the thigh, not the calf. Well, the needles and color were Illumi’s own, but the overall style was Hisoka’s.

 

He grinned.

 

Some part of Illumi’s mind belonged to Hisoka. It had to.


	5. World x Crumbling x Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A photo caused all he knew to change, and the only bedrock he knew was a whimsical liar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, fair warning, that implied/referenced child abuse tag is a little more than implied this chapter. I wouldn't call it explicit, but there's a fairly traumatic haircut. Which is such a strange thing to say, but just in case.

The Zoldyck children got a family photograph. Alluka had begun to walk off in the middle, and they’d refused to take another. But other than that, it looked good. Illumi saw different family members stop to stare at it, and began to get a feeling he just couldn’t shake. It became stronger after he saw his mother staring at it once.

 

It took a couple of mornings before his feeling of unease became a reality.

 

“Illumi, dear, your hair is getting a bit shaggy isn’t it?”

 

Illumi looked up from his breakfast, glancing at his mother. He considered it for a moment. His hair had gotten longer, but Illumi couldn’t say he minded. He certainly didn’t think of it as shaggy.

 

“You should cut it.”

 

“No.” The word slipped out before he could help it.

 

There was silence at the table. His brothers were staring, speechless, all except for his mother. Her visor burned into him, and he was sure a storm was about to begin.

 

“What did you just say, Illumi?”

 

There was no point in taking the words back, so he sat straight and looked straight at his mother. “I said no.”

 

Father was staring at him now as well, nothing showing in his expression. Illumi knew he wouldn’t step into this. Not unless mother went too far, and it was rare for mother to go 'too far.' At least, it was for him and Millu.

 

“I think a little discipline is in order,” she said, standing from the table and gripping his arm harshly.

 

Illumi let her drag him from the table, not looking back to see the faces of his siblings. His arm hurt. They stopped at a dungeon room, one that was equipped with a chair to hold someone in place. His mother pushed him into the chair, and he watched, emotionless as she tightened the straps around his wrist. Dread began to build as she left, leaving him alone in the dark room to presumably retrieve some scissors.

 

He counted his breaths until she returned, then watched as she wandered around the room, considering. When she approached, he clenched his fists tightly and waited. It felt like something was squeezing his chest, and the sharp slice of the scissors sounded louder than it should have.

 

Strands of his hair fell onto the floor, and Illumi watched it, expressionless. Whatever had been squeezing his chest snapped, and he felt his heart pound, loud and strong and _angry_. All the hatred he’d carefully constrained for so many years burst out around him. The pain of being rejected, of being trapped in this hell. He ripped his arms from the chair and slowly rose. A small part of him desperately tried to reel it back in, but his ren spilled through the room mercilessly.

 

His mother, far away now, only stared while he reached down and grabbed a clump of his hair.

 

_How dare she._

 

She said something, and he snarled at her.

 

“Illumi!”

 

Milluki was standing in the doorway, eyes wide.

 

And all the restraints snapped back into place.

 

“Millu.”

 

Milluki looked between them. He approached softly, grabbed Illumi’s hand.

 

“Mama, maybe you should go.”

 

For once, she listened to Milluki. He kept hold of Illumi’s hand even as a butler was summoned to finish Illumi’s hair. After that, Milluki dragged him to his room, muttering empty encouragements. How his hair still looked fine, that it would grow back out soon, and how mother would never try that again.

 

Illumi felt hollow. He sat up.

 

“Lumi?”

 

“I need to fix this.”

 

Milluki sighed, serious expression coming onto his face. “You don’t need to fix anything. Mother wasn’t upset, she was impressed. Said your killing aura was spectacular.”

 

Illumi stared at his brother, “and Father?”

 

Milluki pouted. “If he’s upset, it would be because of me.”

 

“How you got Allu to kill that photographer?”

 

“Yeah. But I mean, we kill people all the time. So whatever. Him and mom have just been getting desperate for more information on Alluka’s rules.”

 

Illumi stared at him. “Really?”

 

Milluki nodded, and Illumi formulated a plan to please his father. He knew some of the general rules of Alluka’s ability, but he’d been suspicious of some others. And he knew who he could test his theory with.

 

He approached his parents the next day, asking for them to leave their tests of Alluka’s abilities in his hands. His mother immediately agreed. It caught Illumi by surprise, but confirmed what Milluki had said earlier. She’d been impressed by his outburst. He wondered what Hisoka would have thought.

 

He visited the butler’s quarters, finding one he’d stumbled upon while she’d been kissing another hire. He offered her forgiveness if she could fill Alluka’s request, and when a massacre occurred instead, he reported back to his parents. Something inside him felt cold and hallow, but they discovered the method to Alluka’s killings.

 

“Is it so important to discover all of Alluka’s rules?” Illumi asked. He’d been curious. “She’s family.”

 

His father stared with those unblinking blue eyes. “You’ve been spending too much time with Killua.”

 

Upon their request. Illumi frowned, and his father continued.

 

“Alluka is not family. He’s a danger.” His father’s eyes narrowed. “Remember that.”

 

Illumi could hardly breathe.

 

He thought of the photo, and now he knew why they hadn’t taken another. Because this was the truth.

 

It felt like the world was shattering, and he couldn’t find all the pieces.

 

And Killua noticed it too. He was ferociously protective of Alluka, and had become reckless while training with father and Illumi. He was going to get himself killed, and Illumi couldn’t allow that. He experimented, trained, and finally, under the watchful eye of his family, embedded a rule in Killua’s head.

 

Don’t fight someone stronger than you.

 

They left Killua at Heaven’s Arena, both to train him and to test Illumi’s needle. Illumi didn’t stay around to watch though. He left. He took a contract and went to the one place that remained untouched by all this. Though, it wasn’t really a place.

 

“Ah, what happened to your hair? ♣” Hisoka frowned.

 

Illumi pulled at a strand of it.

 

“Focus on the mission, Hisoka.”

 

Hisoka pouted. “Only if you promise to tell me later. ♡”

 

“Promise.”

 

Their target was the leader of martial arts temple. An experienced fighter and nen user with a number of subordinates and students willing to fight for him.

 

“Remember, only kill the leader. The rest are off limits.”

 

“Yes, yes, you spoilsport. I remember. ♠”

 

The first wave began to attack, and Illumi dodging and kicking, using his pins to trap some of their opponents to the wall. He heard Hisoka speak up over the noise of their fight without a care in the world.

 

“You know, I liked it long. ♢”

 

Illumi parried someone’s punch, and moved towards stairs leading upwards. “So did I.”

 

“Pity then. ♠”

 

There were more students on the stairs, and Illumi used them as his steps to the top before he dropped to the ground to dodge a kick. He swept the woman’s legs out from under her, then tossed her down the stairs to knock the rest of them over.

 

Hisoka was at the bottom with a lecherous grin.

 

“Loving your moves tonight. ♡”

 

Illumi only glared at him.

 

Hisoka walked up the stairs, kicking someone with his heeled shoe to caused a pained groan. Illumi watched him, and when they continued into the temple, there were more disciples looking for a fight.

 

“Tell me, have you been feeling frustrated? ♣”

 

Illumi punched a man solidly in the stomach before he kicked him into the wall.

 

“You’re awfully chatty today, aren’t you?”

 

“Can you blame me? So busy, then you invite me out to a brawl. I’m seriously resisting jumping you right now. ♡”

 

Illumi twisted to Hisoka. He was fighting, but Illumi could see he clearly had another problem. “Seriously?”

 

“Watching you fight is very arousing. ♡”

 

“Now really isn’t a good time for your indecency.”

 

“Well, you won’t tell me what happened to your hair. ♢”

 

“Fine! My mother cut it, and I almost killed her. I wanted to kill her, but Millu showed up before I could.”

 

Hisoka was silent for a moment, before he groaned, and Illumi realized he’d probably just aroused the clown more. Unfortunately, threats would probably do the same. He took a deep breath and continued on.

 

“Say Illumi, want to stay at mine after this? It’s awfully late. ♡”

 

“I’ve already got a ticket home.”

 

“Maybe next time then. ♠”

 

Illumi frowned, “maybe.”

 

They moved to the top floor, where the master waited and played rock- paper- scissors to decide who would fight. Hisoka won. Illumi sighed, and when they entered the room, he stayed back.

 

“So you are the ones who have made such a mess in my home. Assassins, I assume.”

 

Hisoka grinned, pointing to Illumi. “Only one of us is an assassin. But I thought I’d save his hands from getting dirty. ♠”

 

“And you think you can defeat me?”

 

“Oh, I’m positive of it. ♢”

 

The master seemed upset by this and began his attack. Illumi leaned back against the wall and watched. He seemed to be an enhancer. When Hisoka realized what he was up against, he taunted the master again, and Illumi decided to stop paying such close attention. He watched the movements, but let his mind wander. Hisoka must have realized he’d come to work off his frustration. It was irritating how sharp the man was. And yet, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

The master laid disemboweled on the floor, blood spreading in a wet puddle.

 

Hisoka slapped a hand against the wall beside him and leaned over.

 

“Feeling any better? ♣”

 

Illumi gave the question serious thought before he looked up to reply. “A little.”

 

Hisoka smirked and leaned closer. Illumi pushed his face away. He pulled out his phone to inform the family their contract was complete, then left the building with Hisoka. They walked to the airport, Illumi listening to Hisoka’s inane chatter the whole way. It was strangely soothing, he found. A glimpse of normalcy in what had been an overwhelming past month for him.

 

But on his way home in the overnight airship, that comfort dissipated. The cold hollow feeling crept back in and he wanted to turn back. He tried to think of what Hisoka would do. Something selfish, something unique. Something he desired to do purely for himself.

 

So Illumi walked around the shops on the ship until he stopped at a salon. He stared at the hair products. Hisoka had once said to pay attention to the little things to figure out what his own desires were. He thought about his hair. The strands of it falling to the floor after his mother had cut it. How it was longer when he was young, and the feeling of nails and shampoo running through it.

 

When he left the store, the exhausted clerk waved him off with a smile. He had a bag of expensive hair products and a list of suggestions from her on how to take care of long hair.


	6. Bored x And x Enamored

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He outgrew or broke all his toys eventually, except for one. After all, you had to have a favorite. His was Illumi.

Hisoka was bored.

 

It was a sad fact. Yes, Illumi was coming round more often, providing fun and fantastic entertainment, but it made the times between so much worse. This place was dull and dark without Illumi to paint it red. Which made Hisoka think. He would have to move soon, but any new city would end the same. Something to be discarded once it became boring.

 

The bell of his apartment rang, and Hisoka glanced to the door curiously. Odd. When he opened the door, he found himself surprised.

 

“Illumi? ♣”

 

The assassin bore his usual blank expression and had a bag wrapped around his torso. Illumi tilted his head, looking past him, into the apartment. “May I come in?”

 

Hisoka blinked, but moved to the side. “Of course. ♠”

 

Illumi walked in, looking around Hisoka’s apartment. The furnishings were scarce- minimal, and Hisoka wondered if Illumi was surprised. He heard a hum of consideration, and took it to be a good sign.

 

“Illumi, you should have told me you were coming~ ♡ I would have prepared something. ♢”

 

Illumi glanced to him. “No need. I’m here on business.”

 

“Business without messaging me beforehand? Careful, Illumi. I might start thinking you like me. ♡”

 

Illumi’s brow scrunched, “I do like you.”

 

Hisoka’s mind blanked.

 

“You’re a useful asset on my assignments.”

 

Ah, yes. Of course. “Darling, there must be more than that. ♣”

 

Illumi had set his bag on the counter and was rooting around in it. He paused, clearly deep in thought. “You’re annoying, lecherous, only acting in your own self interest. You indulge your whims to a frustrating degree, and yet if something doesn’t interest you, you dump it as soon as you can.”

 

Hisoka grinned. He was known so well. “And yet? ♠”

 

“And yet working with you is… Decent.”

 

“Decent? ♣”

 

“Relaxing. Enjoyable.”

 

Hisoka smirked and leaned back, ego now thoroughly stroked. Illumi tossed him a file with an enclosed picture and profile. Hisoka glanced over it before raising a brow to the assassin.

 

“A janitor? Really? ♠”

 

“He’s mafia. Tends to pack up and change his identity sporadically. If I miss this opportunity, it may take a while to catch him again.”

 

Hisoka nodded, before his mind leapt to entertaining ideas. “We could make it a race~ ♡”

 

Illumi frowned. “No. I want you there in case he tries to run.”

 

How unfortunate. “I rather doubt you will let him go. ♢”

 

The corners of Illumi's lips twitched up as he pretended he didn’t enjoy the compliment. “Let’s not waste time.”

 

Hisoka joined Illumi with a skip in his step, following the assassin out towards their target. As they walked, Illumi pulled his hair into a ponytail and explained the layout of the building they approached. He barely paid attention to Illumi's words, concentrating more on those strands of dark hair being combed back by his hands. He was glad Illumi was growing it out again.

 

“Hisoka?”

 

He brought his attention back to Illumi. “Yes? ♡”

 

Illumi stared at him. “Never mind.”

 

Hisoka watched Illumi walk, purposeful and confident as always. The city really was so much brighter with the assassin walking beside him.

 

“You’re staring.”

 

“Why don’t you move in with me? ♣” Illumi’s pace only paused for a split second, but it was enough for Hisoka to feel a swell of pride for having knocked Illumi off kilter. “It would be such fun~ ♡”

 

“No, it would be inconvenient.”

 

“Oh? Well, I’ve been considering a move, where would be more convenient? ♢”

 

“Perhaps the Republic of Padokea? That's where I live.”

 

So Illumi did live in a different country… Hisoka hummed.

 

“Why are you considering a move? Your home seemed fine.”

 

Hisoka directed a pout towards Illumi. “Because it’s so boring here~ ♢ There’s nothing to do when you aren’t around. ♠”

 

“Already fought everyone worth fighting?”

 

“Obviously. ♣”

 

“If you want someone to fight, why not just go to Heaven’s Arena?”

 

“I don’t have the documentation for a passport. Could get new ones, but the process is long and annoying. ♠”

 

“Ah.” Illumi fell silent, and their conversation was over.

 

He gave minimal instructions when they arrived at the building, thoughts clearly elsewhere. Time passed, and as he waited outside, Hisoka began to grow antsy. Illumi should have completed the mission by now. He was quick and efficient, and preferred not to leave Hisoka to his own devices. Not since the time he’d used the victim’s shower.

 

Hisoka could still remember the water crashing over him, and the sudden sensation of sharp pins at his neck as Illumi had twisted his arm cruelly. He’d flirted, and Illumi realized just who’d been showering and retreated with the slightest tint of pink on his cheeks.

 

It had been a good day.

 

Now Illumi kept a closer eye on him during missions where they separated. So this was unusual.

 

He hadn’t seen anyone leave, so Hisoka decided to enter the building, frowning as he searched for that familiar presence.

 

Illumi seemed to be standing in place in a room on a higher floor. Hisoka approached the room slowly, opening the door cautiously. Illumi appeared to be on the phone.

 

“I don’t care about that. Just do it, Millu.” Hisoka saw the corpse on the floor and slouched against the wall. “Yes. That works. What do you want?” Illumi glanced to him and gave a gesture that he was almost done. “No. Only one game, Millu. I can’t spoil you too much… Understood. Thank you. Yes. See you tomorrow.”

 

Hisoka rose a brow as Illumi hung up. “Need to go to the game center? ♣”

 

Illumi glanced at him. “No, I’ll go later.”

 

Hisoka shrugged, and followed after Illumi. “So are you staying the night? ♠”

 

“Perhaps.”

 

That was a surprise. Illumi had never considered it before. A grin came to his face and Hisoka slipped an arm around Illumi’s shoulders. “Ooh~ Want to have some real fun tonight? ♡”

 

He cackled as he pulled Illumi’s pins out of his arm. Such fun.

 

Hisoka led the way into his apartment, glancing behind him to see Illumi pull down his hair as he walked through the door. Something clenched in his chest, and Hisoka knew he could get used this. He could enjoy Illumi coming into his space more often, like he belonged there.

 

He did belong there.

 

“Need any food? ♣”

 

Illumi shrugged, and Hisoka grabbed a half empty box of noodles and began to heat some water. It wouldn’t be fancy, but it wouldn’t be poisoned either.

 

“Are you attached to anything here?”

 

“Attached? ♠”

 

“Is there anything here of significant personal value to you?”

 

Hisoka turned to look at Illumi with a frown. “No. Anything personal to me is kept in my mind or my phone. ♢”

 

Illumi nodded, and sank back in consideration. That was twice today he’d done so. He was clearly mulling over something, and that something had to do with Hisoka. It made him curious, but Illumi would never spill a word until he’d finished thinking. He was stubborn like that.

 

Hisoka served supper, and though Illumi responded to his questions, he was still distant, eventually pulling out his phone and searching for something through the screens. The sun began to set, and finally, something happened. A scratching at the window. Hisoka watched as Illumi rose and opened it, admitting a… Hawk. Of course. It sat on Illumi’s arm, unmoving as Illumi retrieved a small parcel that had been tied to its back.

 

Then the hawk flew out the window and away.

 

“What was that. ♢”

 

Illumi tossed him the parcel in response. Hisoka gave him a look as he opened it, staring at what was apparently a passport before opening it and seeing his own face staring back. He blinked, then looked at Illumi, who seemed to be awaiting a response.

 

“When did you get my picture? ♣”

 

Illumi tilted his head to the side. “You sent it to me. A few weeks ago.”

 

Hisoka focused on the picture. Ah. Yes. So he had.

 

“You said you weren’t particularly attached to anything here. We could catch an overnight plane to Heaven’s Arena, and I’m sure you could make it to hundredth floor in a day.”

 

“What happens on the hundredth floor? ♠”

 

“You get a room.”

 

It was sudden, even for him. And Illumi had said Heaven's Arena. A place he would love. Illumi had put forth a lot of effort to do this for him. And moving by Illumi's whim, by his design? He loved it.

 

“Let’s go. ♢”

 

Illumi nodded, and for the first time, Hisoka left the United States of Saherta. Nobody batted an eye at his passport, and Illumi indulged him in conversation.

 

“Is Heaven’s arena much closer to you? ♣”

 

“A bit. Still at the other end of the continent, but I often have layovers there when travelling to other countries.”

 

Hisoka grinned. “So you can stay with me during your layovers. ♡”

 

“Yes. That’s the idea, at least.”

 

His grin morphed to smirk, and Hisoka lifted the armrest between them so he could sling an arm around Illumi, who gave him a glare. Hisoka gave his best pout.

 

“It’s nicer like this, isn’t it? ♡”

 

Illumi stared, eventually moving back and relaxing into Hisoka’s side. Perfect. Hisoka looked outside, occasionally seeing the lights of cities below them, but mostly watching the dark. About an hour in, Illumi sighed and burrowed himself deeper into Hisoka’s side.

 

“This is nice.”

 

He sounded content and almost- perhaps- sleepy? Hisoka ran a hand through his hair, and while it first made Illumi tense up against him, after a few minutes he began to relax again. He had claimed Hisoka’s full attention, and he watched as Illumi’s eyes fell shut.

 

Strangely, his only thought was that Illumi somehow trusted him enough to sleep in his presence.

 

It made him feel strange. A similar feeling to when he saw Illumi walking through his door earlier. He watched black strands fall from his hand idly, before running his hand through Illumi’s hair again.

 

He wanted more.

 

And he stared at Illumi again. He couldn’t resist. Not like this. Hisoka turned himself gently, trying his best to not disturb Illumi. He slid a hand up Illumi’s arm, up his neck. Illumi’s face twitched in his sleep, and Hisoka ran a thumb over Illumi’s lips, then brought his face down to get a taste. Soft and pliant. They tasted like the meal Hisoka had made.

 

When he pulled back, Illumi’s eyes were open.

 

Hisoka smiled and pressed his lips against Illumi’s again. Illumi began to pull away, but when Hisoka followed, he gave a tired sigh instead, and Hisoka felt arms sliding around him, Illumi pulling himself closer. Then those hands stretched up, weaving through Hisoka’s hair. Illumi tilted his head up and stared at him.

 

“Let me sleep.”

 

Hisoka froze, trying to think of something to say. Illumi gave him a slow blink before he stretched and curled himself back into Hisoka's side, rather like a cat. And Hisoka could only watch- disappointed, aroused, fond- as Illumi fell back asleep.

 

He huffed a laugh. At least he wasn’t bored.


	7. House x Or x Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kukuroo mountain was home. Kukuroo mountain was home. Illumi would repeat it as many times as it took. That didn't mean it was true. It wasn't true.

It was strange. Or at least, Illumi thought it was strange.

 

Laying on a couch, Hisoka’s long nails scratching through his hair after he’d finished a mission. It hadn’t taken long for Hisoka to rise past floor two hundred, and his accommodations were luxurious. Comfortable.

 

Illumi preferred returning to Hisoka’s loft than his own home.

 

Killua had finished his training and gone home, and it was back to business as usual. Except, it wasn’t really. Everyone pretended like it was the same, but there was a gaping hole in the Zoldyck family. A topic everyone avoided. It was stifling.

 

So he spent more time with Hisoka. Watched his fights, slept on his couch. Left out the poison when he cooked. It was pedestrian. Domestic. He would never admit it, but Hisoka’s loft felt more like home than Kukuroo Mountain.

 

It wasn’t like his family noticed or cared that he was out so often.

 

Hisoka’s hand paused in his hair, pulling at it a bit to say that there was a kiss incoming.

 

This was another strange thing about his life. Illumi had never been one for physical affection. And yet he found the kisses, the touches, the casual stroking of his hair to be pleasurable.

 

He returned the kiss Hisoka offered, content.

 

Then his phone began to ring.

 

Hisoka frowned, but Illumi answered immediately. “Hello, Father.”

 

“Illumi. Are you still near Heaven’s Arena?”

 

“Yes, Father.”

 

“Good. Do you remember what contract I’m currently on?”

 

Illumi quickly searched his mind. “Taking out a member of the phantom troupe. Milluki found a lead that some of the members are conducting a heist in Arane City.”

 

“How quickly can you get here?”

 

“Thirty minutes, I believe. Position?”

 

“Back-up.”

 

“Understood.”

 

The call ended, and Illumi took a deep breath before looking back to Hisoka, who stared at him with a mix of fascination and frustration. He pushed himself off the couch, grabbing his bag and supplies as he purchased a train ticket from his phone.

 

“You heard?”

 

Hisoka nodded. “Will you be back? ♣”

 

Illumi froze. If he didn’t return home after a mission with his family- with his father- it would become obvious that he was staying somewhere else. That something was more important than family. His mind raced, images burning themselves into his mind of his own body, bleeding and broken. Discarded.

 

Hisoka watched it all with a surprising lack of expression. Finally he stood and Illumi felt the pressure of lips against his cheek.

 

“Text me later. ♠”

 

Illumi stared at Hisoka silently, before he nodded.

 

And as he walked to the station, he realized that Hisoka didn’t expect him to return. He’d never say so out loud, but he knew full well that Illumi’s priority was with his family. He knew Illumi’s fear was being useless to them, that Illumi was afraid of being discarded, and he’d accepted that.

 

But why did his acceptance, his understanding, make it feel worse? Why did Illumi feel like he was leaving something important behind?

 

Illumi rushed to the station, catching the train and heading to the rendezvous with his father. His phone rang as Milluki sent him the formal files, and blueprints for the suspected target building. And though he tried, his thoughts kept straying to Hisoka, twisting uncomfortably. He pushed them aside when his father’s form came into sight.

 

“Father.”

 

“Illumi. Do you understand the plan?”

 

“Yes. You will take on the mission alone, unless the target proves to be a challenge” He pulled out his phone, opening the blueprints. “I’ll stay hidden in this location,” Illumi pointed to a discreet corner of the entry room, “so in the case that you need my assistance, you move towards the exit and I will join your attack. Otherwise, I’ll wait for your signal.”

 

His father nodded, and they entered the building after disguising their presence. Illumi sunk into the shadows soon afterwards, and prepared himself for the wait.

 

He had no doubts that his father would complete the mission with no problems. It was simply impossible for him to fail. So he was content to wait for the news of a successful assassination. He could hear the sounds of fighting, what was probably the final blow, and his transmitter signaled that the mission was complete. He remained in the shadows. The contract being complete wasn’t their signal for him to come out.

 

His father hadn’t called yet either. The mission wasn’t over.

 

Illumi’s brows furrowed. He kept calm, but his senses were on high alert. Another commotion had started from somewhere nearby, and it was getting closer.

 

A man crashed through the wall, and Illumi watched his father emerge from the dust. The man had dark eyes and hair, with a tattoo on his forehead, and Illumi hid himself deeper in the shadows. His father knew he was there.

 

“I am not here for your life, Chrollo Lucifer.”

 

Ah. So this was the leader of the phantom troupe.

 

The man replied, his voice level, but Illumi could hear barely restrained fury behind it.

 

Illumi waited and watched his father fight the leader. His father was clearly stronger, but Chrollo seemed to have a formidable nen, and he was angry. Illumi guessed that he had seen his companion murdered. A strange thought whispered across his mind. Hisoka would enjoy him. Illumi shook the thought out and continued to wait for the perfect moment.

 

The leader was blind with rage. It would be easy.

 

Just as the man charged an attack at his father, Illumi saw his chance. He let go of his zetsu, and his pins launched out, piercing both clothes and flesh to bind the spider’s leader to the wall. Chrollo was shocked, and his father took a deep breath. His aura calmed, and he turned to Illumi.

 

“Let’s go.”

 

Illumi nodded, following behind his father. He couldn’t say what made him do it, but before he left the building, Illumi glanced back. He met the eyes of the Phantom Troupe’s leader. The anger had left them, and the man stared at him with something resembling interest, curiosity. Illumi turned away.

 

His father wasn’t far ahead.

 

They began to walk together towards the nearest station, both silent. There was nothing to be said. The light of his father’s phone cast harsh shadows on his face as he made their travel arrangements.

 

“It looks like we can catch a direct airship to Kukuroo.”

 

The thoughts that had been coiling and writhing in his mind came back. The lazy kisses with Hisoka, lounging on his couch. Illumi didn’t want to go home. He wanted to go back to Hisoka.

 

Illumi made a decision. “I’m not going home tonight.”

 

His father stared at him in silent surprise.

 

“Where will you be staying?”

 

“Heaven’s Arena.”

 

“Illumi.”

 

Illumi turned his gaze to his father. He knew. He had to know. It was more than where, it was with. They stared at each other on the dark street, and though nothing showed in his expression, Illumi was sure he was disappointed. It was fine. Illumi had known this would happen. Ever since Killua had been born, he knew he could no longer live up to the Zoldyck legacy, because only Killua was  _ meant _ to. So it was fine for him to disappoint his father.

 

They stared at each other, and it was Illumi who turned away first, who declared, “I’ll see you tomorrow, father.”

 

His father said nothing as he left.

 

He sent a text to Hisoka that he was on his way back and ordered the ticket back. Soon his phone pinged with a message.

 

_ Ooh, I’m so pleased~  _ ⭐ ・∀・ 💧 

 

Illumi didn’t send a response, deciding to instead reorganize his own thoughts while waiting for the train. He didn't know how he felt. Out of place, perhaps. Some of him felt relieved and free, and another part wished there had been something more. That his father tried to convince him to return. That he wanted to return. The only thing that was clear in all of his thoughts his desire to see Hisoka.

 

Another alert. A new text from Milluki.

 

_ What’s going on? You aren’t coming home? _

 

_ Yes. _

 

_ Mom is crying. _

 

_ She often does. _

 

_ … Is this about that guy you had me make the passport for? _

 

Illumi frowned.  _ Consider him under my explicit protection. _

 

_ … Are you… threatening me? _

 

Was he? For Hisoka?  _ I _ _ don’t mean to. _

 

He was in the midst of his walk back to Hisoka’s loft when Milluki finally texted back.

 

_ I get it. He’s important to you. Okay. I won’t say anything, so long as my neck isn’t on the line. _

 

_ Thank you. Take care of yourself. _

 

Illumi returned to the arena, and the elevator ride felt unbearably long. The attendant recognized him. She seemed intrigued by the fact that he was the secretive but powerful Hisoka’s only frequent visitor. That he would often spend the night. Illumi left the elevator as soon as the doors opened, trying to avoid those eyes to head straight for Hisoka’s room.

 

He entered without a word. He could feel the humidity, which meant Hisoka had just left the shower. Hisoka walked out shamelessly, leaning against a wall as he took stock of Illumi’s appearance.

 

“How did it go? ♠”

 

“Smoothly enough.”

 

Hisoka hummed. “Smoothly enough? That’s unusual. ♢”

 

Illumi sighed, stretching his muscles as he walked towards the fridge. “Father completed the assassination without incident, but…”

 

“But? ♣”

 

“The leader of the phantom troupe attacked as father was leaving. He’s strong.”

 

Hisoka perked up.

 

“Did you fight him? ♠”

 

“No. I was just back-up. I pinned him to the wall while he was fighting Father.”

 

“Then he doesn’t sound too strong~ ♢”

 

Illumi threw out his pins. Hisoka dodged most of them, but his handed ended up stuck to the wall, pin embedded in it.

 

Illumi tilted his head to the side, considering. “I guess you aren’t that strong either.”

 

“Aha~ I see. ♡” Hisoka laughed, but it turned to a moan as he pulled the needle from his hand.

 

The events of the night- his actions, his decisions- all came back to the forefront of his mind. Illumi grabbed a yogurt and began idly eating it, watching as Hisoka laid the needle on the counter and licked the blood from his hand. He looked up and gave Illumi a smirk.

 

“I didn’t expect you to come back tonight. ♢”

 

“I know.”

 

“Should I be expecting more threats from your family? ♣”

 

“More?”

 

“I think Millu found my number, ♠” he said with a grin, pulling out his phone to show Illumi.

 

_ If you hurt my brother I will kill you. _

 

Illumi huffed. He was proud of Milluki for putting all the dots together so quickly, but he’d rather the two didn’t interact. It could only end badly for Millu. “Only if you meet them.”

 

“Hmmm. I’m already intrigued. ♡”

 

Illumi scraped the last of his yogurt out, and tossed the empty container into the trash. He walked straight past Hisoka to the one part of the loft he’d always avoided.

 

“Let’s go to bed.”

 

Hisoka stared.

 

“Illumi? ♣”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“You've always refused to sleep in my bed. ♢”

 

Illumi sighed, pushing his hair over his shoulder. “Does it look like I care? I’m tired.”

 

Hisoka followed behind him and as they got closer to the bed, his arms wrapped around Illumi’s torso.

 

“You know, I’m not quite tired yet. Excited, maybe. ♡”

 

“I can tell.”

 

He felt Hisoka chuckle against his neck and leaned his head back. He laid a hand over one of the ones Hisoka had draped against him, and felt Hisoka inhale sharply. Illumi then clenched his other hand and slammed it into Hisoka’s face.

 

Hisoka fell back, wiping the blood from his split lip with a grin. Then he rushed forward, elbow aiming for Illumi’s head. Illumi ducked back, hands reaching behind to so he could flip away. But his hands were pulled forward, and Illumi wanted to curse at Hisoka’s bungee gum. He barely managed to maneuver his body in time for it not crash into the floor.

 

“So flexible~ ♡”

 

Illumi frowned as he straightened. He felt the tug at his hands still, and rolled his eyes when he saw Hisoka had attached the strands to his back.

 

“Really?”

 

Hisoka grinned when Illumi’s hands followed his nen, arms wrapping around him.

 

“Oh, Illumi, I didn’t know you cared. ♡”

 

Illumi hummed. “Smart. I can’t strangle you with my hands down here.”

 

Hisoka laughed, head falling forward as he nuzzled Illumi’s neck. “Darling, you know what that sort of talk does to me. ♢”

 

Illumi knew. He could feel the evidence of it quite clearly. Illumi dropped his head onto Hisoka’s chest with a sigh.

 

“Then do something about it.”

 

He heard Hisoka’s heart pound. Felt his nen swell, and nails scratching up his back, forcefully grabbing at his face and neck. When Hisoka’s lips met his- violent and rough, Illumi only moaned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might take a while for a new chapter, because I don't have an outline for the next one. ;;; (and I've got four plot bunnies running around. の‸の)


	8. Yours x and x Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hisoka loves his days with Illumi, but new obligations meant their schedules stopped syncing up. They say it makes you fonder, but Hisoka thought absence made the heart grow covetous.

Hisoka loved mornings like this. The sun shining through the curtains, casting a golden glow on him and Illumi. No contracts, no matches, nothing to do but let the morning pass. Illumi was asleep, naked, with angry red marks and scratches marring his skin. Hisoka wore a matching set with pride. He ran a hand down Illumi’s arm, knowing that a simple touch would rouse him.

 

And sure enough, Illumi’s eyes opened, still soft with sleep. Hisoka chuckled and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his head, his cheek, his lips. Illumi tilted into it, arms wrapping around him and pulling Hisoka closer.

 

A good morning indeed.

 

Or it was going to be a good morning, until someone knocked on the door. Hisoka pulled away with a frown, and Illumi looked displeased beneath him.

 

“You should get that,” Illumi murmured. Hisoka pouted, and the corners of Illumi’s mouth twitched up. “Or I could answer it. I’m sure you wouldn’t mind.”

 

Hisoka froze, then glared. No one else got to see Illumi like this. No one ever would. He got off the bed to head towards the door.

 

“Put on some boxers at least.”

 

“Feeling possessive? ♡”

 

Illumi snorted, but Hisoka obeyed him nonetheless. There was another knock, and Hisoka walked to the door, mood still sour from his interrupted indulgence. He opened the door to a stranger.

 

“Is Illumi Zoldyck here?”

 

Hisoka’s eyes narrowed, and he leaned on the door as he let some of his bloodlust spill. The man remained completely calm. It almost reminded him of Illumi. Relative, perhaps?

 

“Who’s looking?”

 

The man gave a smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

 

“That’s Chrollo Lucifer,” Illumi’s voice spoke.

 

Hisoka glanced behind him. Illumi was wrapped in the bedsheet, arms folded to keep it in place.

 

“The leader of the phantom troupe.”

 

Hisoka twisted back to their guest, grin coming to his face. “Oooh~ So this is the leader. ♡” Illumi’s footsteps began walking away, and Hisoka smirked. “Should I let him in? ♢”

 

“I don’t care.”

 

Hisoka shrugged, leaving the door open. “Come on in then, spiderman. ♠”

 

He guided Chrollo to the kitchen, sure that Illumi would return after getting dressed.

 

“Coffee? Tea? A smoothie? ♣”

 

“I’m fine. I doubt you nor Illumi actually want me here long.”

 

“True enough. ♢”

 

Hisoka fixed himself a smoothie without another word, grinning when Illumi finally entered the room.

 

Chrollo went straight to business. “Illumi, how about joining the spiders? We have an open position, and someone of your talents would be much appreciated.”

 

Illumi ignored him and fixed his breakfast, some sort of atrociously fruity crepe they both loved. It seemed Chrollo was prepared to wait out Illumi, but that would take years. Hisoka would know. So he chuckled, deciding to lend Chrollo a hand.

 

“Illumi doesn’t care. ♢”

 

“I’d rather hear that from him.”

 

“Hisoka’s right.”

 

“I see. Is there a way to make you change your mind?”

 

“No. Will you stop following me now?”

 

Hisoka’s attention snapped to Illumi at that casual revelation. “He’s been following you? ♣”

 

Illumi nodded. “It’s been very annoying.”

 

Hisoka frowned. “Want me to kill him? ♢”

 

Chrollo seemed amused, but Hisoka was only concerned about Illumi’s reaction.

 

“Thank you for the offer, but-” Then Illumi froze, tilting his head. “Why don’t you join the Phantom Troupe?”

 

“What? ♣” Hisoka glanced to Chrollo. He seemed surprised. Probably.

 

Illumi nodded. “You’re strong, you like challenges.” He looked back to Chrollo. “Hire him and leave me alone. Unless, of course, you’re hiring me to kill somebody.”

 

“I haven’t verified his abilities.”

 

Illumi shrugged. “Hisoka has a match today. You can watch that.”

 

“I do? ♠”

 

“Yes, against a newbie. Kastro. Why do I know this, and you don’t?”

 

“With a newbie? That won’t be much of a fight. ♢”

 

Illumi hummed. “I think you’ll like him. Very earnest. Strong. He has potential.”

 

“Ooh~ ♡”

 

Chrollo sighed, and rose from the table. “I’ll buy tickets to the match.”

 

Hisoka ignored him as the leader of the phantom troupe let himself out. When the door finally closed, Hisoka crowded Illumi against the counter.

 

“Hisoka, control yourself.”

 

“Why should I? ♡”

 

“You’re a menace to society.”

 

“And you aren’t? Zoldyck. ♠”

 

Illumi glared and grabbed him by the throat, throwing him into the main room before he followed after with pins drawn. Hisoka twisted to catch himself, drawing his cards to throw them. They sliced Illumi’s arms, but it didn’t stop him from moving. Hisoka stopped Illumi’s needles with his bungee gum and threw them back, Illumi not even batting an eye to catch them. Hisoka pulled the needles and Illumi’s hand forward with his nen, catching his fist and slamming a knee into Illumi’s stomach.

 

Illumi grunted, but his leg caught around Hisoka’s to send them both tumbling. When they fell to the ground, Illumi seemed content to lay on top of him.

 

“Is the foreplay over? ♡”

 

Illumi huffed, pulling himself off of Hisoka as he took stock of their destruction. “You should get ready for your match.” Illumi pulled his hair back and walked back into the kitchen, presumably to save his breakfast.

 

Hisoka went for a cold shower.

 

It wasn’t long before the match. As Illumi had said, the boy was new to the floor, uninitiated to nen. He was fantastic though. Hisoka liked his spunk, got carried away. Once he’d trained his nen, he would have potential. This Kastro.

 

He’d honestly forgotten his spectators.

 

Chrollo caught him by surprise in the hallway. Asked him more about his nen. About his goals. Hisoka was perfectly honest- he only cared about new thrills.

 

Apparently, it was enough for Chrollo. Hisoka got a pattern for the tattoo. A date and location for a meeting. Chrollo was gone, and Hisoka watched two ladies follow after him. One had cold eyes. He always liked that in a person.

 

So he returned to his room, where Illumi’s cold eyes were. Illumi tossed him a cool bottle, then gestured at a chair for Hisoka to sit down. His fingers began to run over the bruises, evaluating the injuries before he rose to get ice from the freezer.

 

“Any major injuries, Illumi? ♡”

 

“I’ve always suspected brain damage.”

 

“I meant from today. ♢”

 

Illumi pressed his makeshift ice pack to Hisoka’s side with a frown. “Only bruising, it seems.”

 

Hisoka laughed. “So, what did you think of the fight? ♣”

 

“You initiated him mercifully, all things considered. I assume you want to fight him again.”

 

“Mmm~ You know me so well. ♡”

 

Illumi pushed the ice more forcefully into his side, and Hisoka grimaced. Cold.

 

“What nen type do you think he’ll be? ♣”

 

“Don’t care.”

 

Hisoka pouted. “Entertain me~ ♠”

 

Illumi stared. “Did Chrollo let you join the Phantom Troupe?”

 

“I said entertain, not interrogate. ♢”

 

Illumi rose a brow.

 

“... Yes, I’m officially number four. ♠” He heard a huff, and looked at Illumi’s face. A laugh? “Humorous? ♣”

 

Illumi’s lips were still tilting upwards. “Of all the numbers, isn’t four considered closest to death? It seems fitting.”

 

Hisoka laughed. So it did.

 

Illumi’s phone vibrated, and he knew their time together was coming to a close. Once the ice melted, Illumi left Hisoka to his own devices, claiming Milluki had sent the contract for his next mission. Then he was gone. After all the chaos of the day, the evening being calm made it feel all the more empty.

 

The tattoo Hisoka had received caught his eye. He frowned. Did he really want to join the spiders? Illumi had given him the opportunity, and he would admit, their strength had him interested. But that made him more want to fight them, not to… befriend them.

 

When he went to his first meeting with the Phantom Troupe, he wore a fake tattoo.

 

He learned about them, watched their skills as Chrollo led a heist. The girl who’d left with Chrollo- Machi- caught his attention again. She fought with sewing needles and strings of nen. He watched her stitch up someone’s arm. A transmuter, like him. A liar, like him as well. But while Hisoka lied because he enjoyed it, Machi lied to protect herself. She pretended to care less than she did.

 

It made him miss Illumi.

 

The second heist he pulled with the spiders, a boy named Shalnark led. He used needles to control people, seemed to consider it all a game. It was... Different from what he was used to. After the mission, Shalnark began challenging everyone to arm wrestling contests. No nen allowed, only brute force. Hisoka wasn’t surprised to lose to Uvogin- he was a beast of an enhancer. The week later loss to Phinks was a surprise.

 

The spiders were strong.

 

It made him want to destroy them.

 

Chrollo, most of all. He was logical and independent, but somehow so charismatic the spiders hung onto his every word. Which ended up being a problem. He had good rules for the troupe. They minimized conflict between members, protected everyone from each other. So Hisoka had to play the waiting game. He would have to wait for the perfect moment to challenge Chrollo, to betray the spiders.

 

And waiting was boring.

 

Then it became tedious. When Hisoka wasn’t galavanting with the spiders, Illumi was off assassinating, and the texts and phone calls just weren’t enough. Though, there was something to be said for Illumi’s reactions, even over text.

 

_ I don’t understand why you keep sending me images of bananas. Do you want a parfait? _

 

_ I wouldn’t mind your parfait if you know what I mean~  _ ⭐ ・3< 💧

 

_? _

 

⭐ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°💧

 

_ Oh. It was supposed to be an innuendo. _

 

_ Did Milluki tell you that?  _ ⭐ の ‸ の 💧

 

_ Are you really that bored? _

 

No reply to his question, which meant Illumi absolutely had asked Milluki. Hisoka chuckled.

 

_ Yeeessss.  _ ⭐￣へ￣💧

 

_ I see… The new year isn’t too far. _

 

_ Are we having a special celebration~?  _ ⭐◕ヮ◕💧

 

_ Doubtful. I’ve been getting more requests lately. _

 

_ Congrats on that.  _ ⭐^▽^💧

 

_ Thank you. But the point I was making was the Hunter Exam is coming up. Perhaps that could entertain you? _

 

_ Hunter Exam?  _ ⭐ の ‸ の 💧

 

The next text he received was a link, which he promptly plugged into a computer to look at. The official Hunter registration website with explanations of all the perks associated with being a hunter. According to the site, there was a rigorous test for all applicants, and Hisoka admitted, he was intrigued. Illumi always knew just what would interest him.

 

He quickly filled out the initial application, shooting off a text to Illumi to tell him he’d applied. 

 

Illumi only responded-  _ I thought you might be interested. _

 

Hisoka wished he could go to where Illumi was now and kiss him til he couldn’t remember his family. But alas, that wasn’t happening in the foreseeable future. At least now he had a new game to look forward to.

 

He completed a heist with Franklin, Shizuku, and Pakunoda, then went off to the Hunter Exam with promises that he would attend the next Troupe meeting as soon as he was done. It wasn’t difficult to find the exam site, not after asking Illumi about it. And at the site, he had even more fun. None of the applicants had nen, yet they thought themselves strong. It made Hisoka laugh.

 

They knew he was strong. The examiners knew he was strong. It was easy.

 

Too easy.

 

And finally, Hisoka snapped.

 

He attacked the third phase examiner. Listened to the screams as blood poured from the examiner’s face, and the other applicants retreated, terrified of Hisoka’s cackling laughter. Soon he was forcefully removed from the testing site.

 

Hisoka returned home, bored and empty and itching for something.

 

_ I failed.  _ ⭐ ◑ ω ◑ 💧

 

_ Was the test that difficult? _

 

_ I maimed the examiner.  _ ⭐ ・∀・ 💧

 

_ … I suppose that would halt the process. _

 

And Hisoka knew what he was supposed to do next. He promised to attend that meeting with the troupe, but he didn’t care anymore. He wanted to see Illumi.

 

_ Come to my apartment.  _ ⭐ ・ ◡ ・ 💧

 

_ Don’t you have another heist with the spiders? _

 

_ I don’t care.  _ ⭐￣へ￣💧  _ Come to my apartment. _

 

_ … Understood. _

 

Hisoka waited, though he had no clue where Illumi was, or how long it would take him to get there. His phone remained silent on the counter as he waited in his apartment.

 

There was a knock on the door, and finally, _finally_ , Illumi was there.

 

“Hisoka.”

 

“Darling~ ♡”

 

Illumi gave him a look, pushing past Hisoka towards the kitchen. He rustled through the cabinets to pull out a small cup of chocolate pudding, pulling off the lid to devour it. Hisoka was delighted. There was something perfect about watching a high class assassin eat a dollar store commodity.

 

There was something perfect about having Illumi near him again.

 

“I thought between the exam and the Phantom Troupe you were well entertained.”

 

“Not enough, apparently. You’re just too perfect in comparison. ♡”

 

Illumi gave him a disbelieving look, and Hisoka grinned. He moved forward, slid his arms around Illumi with a smirk.

 

“You account for my boredom. I quite enjoy the sex too. ♢”

 

“Maybe you should have sex with the Phantom Troupe then.”

 

The statement startled a laugh out of him. “Think it’s worth a try? ♣”

 

Illumi glared.

 

Hisoka chuckled again. “Just kidding. You’re stuck with me, darling. ♡”

 

“Til death do we part.” Illumi muttered, finishing off his dessert.

 

Hisoka froze for a moment. They’d joked about this before, right? It didn’t feel like a joke now. It felt like the truth. “Maybe we should. ♢”

 

Illumi blinked at him. “Should what?”

 

“Get married. ♠”

 

Illumi blinked again. He was completely dumbfounded. His brows furrowed, and after some floundering, he finally managed to ask, “why?”

 

Hisoka began to pull Illumi’s hair to the side, mouthing at that neck he hadn’t gotten to mark for far too long. He took a deep breath, arms tightening around his Illumi. Yes. His Illumi.

 

“You’re my favorite toy. So why not just be mine? ♣” He could feel Illumi stiffening beneath him, and continued, “and in return, I would be yours. Doesn’t that sound… Delightful? ♢” Illumi’s breath hitched, and Hisoka brought his mouth to his ear, whispering, “don’t you want it? Want me? ♡”

 

His back hit the counter, and he could taste the leftover chocolate from Illumi’s lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for the patience with this chapter. Had a lot of issues with it, but hey! Only one left. We'll see how it goes.


	9. Together x This x Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The end is only the beginning of everything else.

They didn’t require proof. No rings, no contract. After twelve years of interactions, they knew better than anyone that they were connected. For better or worse.

 

Sometimes it still bothered Illumi. He lived by contracts, by rules, and yet the idea of formalizing their relationship, legalizing it, was discomforting. Illumi didn’t know why, but he felt like such a thing would be a sign of their end at each other’s hands.

 

For now, it was simple. Over the year, he moved some outfits into Hisoka’s apartment, received a spare key, and would stay even when Hisoka wasn’t there. Not that Hisoka had wasn’t there very often. Citing boredom, Hisoka had stopped meeting with the spiders, and while he didn’t doubt that, Illumi knew Hisoka was seeking the perfect moment to tear off that fake tattoo and fight them. Their actions in the meantime meant nothing to him.

 

This attitude was showing in the arena as well. Hisoka had recently skipped a match he wasn’t interested in, and while Illumi could understand- the opponent wasn’t nearly the same skill level nor would he ever be- the fact that he was so incredibly whimsical could be frustrating. Where would Hisoka end up if he left Heaven’s Arena?

 

Hisoka had only laughed at his concerns.

 

“Sounds like you’re concerned with where you’ll end up, not just me. ♡”

 

Illumi hadn’t been able to deny him. When he wasn't out on a contract, Hisoka’s room was where he was. And Hisoka’s smirk told Illumi that he’d caught the slip- that Illumi would follow him wherever he went.

 

It was the opposite of the beginning.

 

Illumi had departed soon after that, having a job to complete. Hisoka had wanted to join him, but Illumi insisted on taking this on alone. He needed to have a moment to himself. A moment to think.

 

The mission was easy, and he stared at his pins in the woman’s face before he turned his attention to his bank account. It wasn’t long before his commission arrived. He texted Hisoka of his success, and began the journey back when his phone rang.

 

“Milluki.”

 

“Lumi. Good job.”

 

“Thank you. I assume you have a reason to call beyond congratulations?”

 

He heard a huff over the line. “Yeah. Well. I’ve been going through your requests lately, and I found one I wanted to mention to you.”

 

Illumi felt his head tilt. Milluki didn’t often call about assassination contracts before they’d been finalized. In fact, he’d never contacted someone before they were finalized. Odd.

 

“Which one?”

 

“You just got a target in the Kakin Kingdom.”

 

And immediately, Illumi knew why Milluki had contacted him. “They aren’t part of V5. It would be difficult to travel there, even with the correct paperwork.”

 

“I can get started on the paperwork, but it will take a while. You and your alias attract too much attention- they’d never let a Zoldyck in, or that many pins.”

 

Illumi hummed. Yes. As Gittarackur, he had far too many weapons for a country so suspicious of visitors.

 

His phone vibrated, a reply from Hisoka. It gave him an idea.

 

“I can take the exam.”

 

“What?”

 

“The Hunter’s Exam.”

 

The silence on the other side of the line was palpable. “... Well, I guess that would work.”

 

“It only makes sense. Do inform Mother and Father for me, since I will be unreachable during that time.”

 

“Wait, you’re deciding just like that?!”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Not just because of that… Hisoka guy?”

 

Illumi frowned.

 

“Fine, whatever.” It sounded like Milluki was pouting.

 

“Millu?”

 

He heard a deep sigh over the line. “See you some other time, Lumi.”

 

“Sure. Thanks for telling me, Millu.”

 

The call ended, but it left Illumi feeling uncomfortable. Milluki had sounded upset, which never boded well. Not that there was anything he could do about it. He didn’t even know what Milluki’s problem was. So he focused on the task at hand instead, getting home, where Hisoka was lounging in the main room, nursing a cocktail with a smirk.

 

“Illumi~ ♡”

 

Illumi cocked an eyebrow up. Hisoka appeared to be oddly entertained.

 

“Hisoka?”

 

He leaned to the side with a chuckle. “Tell me, did you piss off your brother? ♣”

 

“I’m unsure. But how would you know?”

 

Hisoka laughed. “Just got a message from him. I think he misses you. ♠”

 

Illumi blinked. Milluki… missed him? He’d never considered it.

 

“Hey, I’m the only one who gets to make you blush. ♢”

 

“Is that how it works?”

 

Hisoka huffed. “Teasing. ♢”

 

“I know.”

 

Still, Hisoka seemed to have fallen into thought, rising from his seat and leaving his drink on the table as he approached Illumi. An arm wrapped around his shoulders.

 

“Are you really so unused to being wanted? ♣”

 

Illumi couldn’t answer. He could only think of his father. Of Killua. He had learned a long time ago that he didn’t belong, and that was when someone found him, who diligently chased after him. Who was with him even now.

 

Illumi leaned his head towards Hisoka, who smiled and leaned closer, giving a lazy kiss.

 

“Will you be returning home? ♢” He whispered.

 

Illumi shook his head. “My family is very important to me, but this is where I want to be.”

 

Hisoka’s grin went ear to ear. He pressed another kiss to Illumi’s cheek, then returned to where he’d set his drink down. “And to think, once you didn’t know what you wanted. ♡”

 

Illumi hummed his agreement, before broaching a new subject. “I’m going to take the Hunter Exam.”

 

Hisoka froze in the middle of his sip. “Are you? ♠”

 

“Yes. I received a mission that it is necessary for.”

 

“Can’t your genius brother help? ♣”

 

“It would take time. Getting a Hunter’s License is quicker and would allow me to carry weapons into the country.”

 

Hisoka was staring at him.

 

“What?”

 

“Just imagining you killing someone with your bare hands. ♡” He licked his lips. “How would you do it? ♠”

 

Illumi held up a hand, palm towards himself, and let his claws show. Hisoka whistled. He relaxed again, and joined Hisoka in sitting at the table.

 

“Why have you never done that trick before? ♣”

 

“I prefer my pins.”

 

“So you’re taking the Hunter’s Exam. ♢” He chuckled. “Makes me want to give it another shot. ♡”

 

“Your cooperation could be useful.”

 

“Could be? ♣”

 

“Given that you don’t attack the examiner and get yourself kicked out again.”

 

Hisoka laughed. “You’ll be there to keep me under control though, right? ♠”

 

“I doubt I could.”

 

“Heh. True enough. ♢”

 

They applied to the Hunter’s Exam that night, Illumi deciding to apply under his alias- just in case anyone there recognized the Zoldyck name. He’d rather not get into any unsavory business with examiners or applicants. Hisoka was prone to enough trouble by himself. Then was preparation. He exchanged some games for custom transceivers from Milluki, and before the month was over, he and Hisoka began heading to the exam site.

 

His phone began to ring, a call from the estate.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Illumi, sweetheart, you have to come home right now!” It was his mother’s voice. It sounded strained and watery.

 

“What happened?”

 

“Oh, it’s wonderful, Illu! But also horrible, and your father refuses to listen to me! You’re the only one I can rely on!”

 

“Mother-”

 

“I understand you’re busy, but please, just come home for a moment. Listen to your mother, we have a big problem!”

 

“... Understood.” He hung up with a sigh. Hisoka had been watching him. “... I need to return home.”

 

“Does your mother often call you in histrionics? ♣”

 

“No. Mother rarely calls.”

 

“I suppose it may be serious then. I do believe you have a different priority right now though. ♢”

 

Illumi folded his arms with a frown. Hisoka was right. But all the same, he couldn't just ignore his mother's call. He calculated the time it would take to return home, then find the exam site. There should be enough time. Furthermore, Hisoka had the transceiver. It would be easy to track him there.

 

“Let’s split up. I’ll make it before the deadline.”

 

Hisoka seemed miffed, but he agreed, and Illumi quickly rushed to the airport. He took an express flight to Kukuroo Mountain, where he opened the testing gate and ran to the manor. When he entered, only a butler was there to greet him.

 

“Gotoh.”

 

“Master Illumi. We’ve been waiting for you. Please, this way.”

 

He followed the butler, worry growing as he was led to their medical bay. Illumi could hear his mother screaming, and he thought he could hear Milluki as well. Gotoh departed as he went inside where his mother and Milluki appeared to be arguing about Killua. Kalluto watched to the side, approaching him when he entered.

 

“Brother. Welcome home.”

 

He smoothed his youngest brother’s hair. “Thank you, Kalluto.”

 

The room had become quiet once his mother and Milluki noticed his arrival.

 

“Illumi, darling, you did come!”

 

Milluki scowled. “Weren’t you busy?”

 

Illumi nodded. “I won’t be here long. But I was worried.”

 

His mother smiled. “What a good child. But you see, Killu ran off! It’s horrible!”

 

“He fucking stabbed us!”

 

Milluki was favoring his side, and his mother had bandages covering her face. He looked down to Kalluto.

 

“I’m fine, Brother.”

 

“Understood. But what do you want me to do about this?”

 

“I told her not to call-”

 

“Bring him back home.”

 

“Killua?” Illumi clarified.

 

“Yes. He’s at an important part of his training, and he needs to be home, with his family.”

 

Milluki angrily muttered something.

 

“I understand, Mother, but I cannot.”

 

“What?!” She screeched.

 

Illumi frowned. “I need the Hunter’s license for a contract. I cannot miss the exam.” His mother opened her mouth, and Illumi held up a hand to stop her. “After I get my license I shall search for Killu. I refuse to budge on this matter.”

 

He could hear her teeth grinding. “Fine.”

 

Illumi nodded. “I hope you feel better soon Mother, Millu.”

 

Milluki still seemed upset, but Illumi reasoned that was a normal response to getting stabbed. Strange for their family, but Milluki was likely the most normal among them. He said his goodbyes again, giving Milluki a purposeful nod before he left. It seemed to calm him a bit, and Illumi wondered if something so simple could really relieve his frustrations. Kalluto followed him out of the room, staring after him with large blue eyes.

 

“Did you want something with me, Kalluto?”

 

“Brother. Would you train me?”

 

Illumi blinked. He looked closer at Kalluto. “Why me?”

 

“You’re powerful.”

 

He was flattered, but he wasn’t sure about taking on Kalluto’s training, not when Mother seemed particularly protective of him. Still, it was his own request. Illumi knelt down, resting a hand on Kalluto’s shoulder as he pondered what to say.

 

“How about this, Kalluto. You ask Mother about learning nen, and once she teaches you, we can discuss it more.”

 

Kalluto nodded, serious as ever. “I look forward to learning from you soon then.”

 

Normally he hid his pride better, but Illumi supposed it was good for him to be confident. “Good. Take care of Mother and Milluki while I’m gone.”

 

“I will.”

 

After another pat to Kalluto’s shoulder, he rose and left.

 

So Killua had run. He’d wanted to leave enough to stab their mother and brother in his escape. He could understand his mother’s worry. The Zoldyck heir running free, no nen to protect him. It could be dangerous. Still, he and Father had trained Killua well. He was far from defenseless. He was sure Killua would be fine, and after the exam he would find him and return Killua home.

 

For now, he simply had a different priority. When he tried calling Hisoka to inform him of everything, the line rang out. Hisoka wasn’t one to ignore calls, which meant he’d likely arrived at the exam site. He pulled out their transceiver, and took note of the coordinates. Zaban City. It shouldn’t be hard to arrive there.

 

He hesitated for a moment, but also sent a text to Hisoka, just in case he was only ignoring calls. His phone vibrated soon after.

 

_Underneath a restaurant called Gohan. Ask for a room and an illuminating steak lunch set, grilled over low heat and roasted carefully until it’s well done._ ⭐òωó💧

 

_Understood, thank you._

 

While he was boarding an express flight to Zaban, his phone vibrated again.

 

_What happened with your family?_ ⭐ԾωԾ💧

 

_Killua left the estate. Injured my mother and Milluki on his way out._

 

_Oooh. Sounds exciting, but why did they need you?_ ⭐￣へ￣💧

 

_They wanted me to catch him. I told them I would after the exam._

 

_Ah~ Can I help? Pretty please? Promise I’ll be good~_ ⭐◕ω◕💧

 

_… I suppose I could use an extra hand._

 

_M a r v e l o u s_ ⭐ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°💧

 

Illumi was regretting this decision already.

 

_What’s he look like, anyway?_ ⭐の‸の💧

 

_White hair, blue eyes._

 

_… Is he young? Short? Fluffy hair? Enjoys skateboarding?_ ⭐・∀・💧

 

Illumi frowned. That was a little too accurate for his liking. Then a photo came. A photo of Killua, wearing a button with the number 99 emblazoned on it.

 

_I like this kid. He downed a can of laced juice._ ⭐^▽^💧

 

Illumi sighed. Of course Hisoka would. And Killua had a bit of a sweet tooth, so as long as it wasn’t laced with anything too abnormal, he would drink it. Still, one day out of the manor and he was drinking laced juices.

 

_Your suspicions are correct. That’s Killua._

 

_That search ended up being incredibly simple. Good for us._ ⭐≧ヮ≦💧

 

_Indeed._

 

The conversation faltered after that, Illumi focusing on getting to the site. He used his pins to perfect his disguise as he followed Hisoka's instructions. He was only able to breath easy once the room he'd arrived in began to move down. Then, he was at the exam site, receiving the 303 button. Hisoka gave him the barest of nods, gesturing towards Killua, who had never learned of this disguise. Then, separately, they waited for the exam to begin.

 

How was he to know just how much more would begin after those last three applicants arrived?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for sticking through all this with me! It's been a ride. It might take a while for me to write more, due to other projects I have that are needing completing. But I have some ideas that I'd like to work on once I'm done. If you want to say hello, you can catch me as deliberatingdoodles on tumblr, or @van_goethe on twitter. (i don't know twitter very well yet though, i'm super new to it. ;;;)


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